My Eyes Are Open

My Eyes Are Open – January 19, 2011

 Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

~ By Portia Nelson ~

Chapter 1

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

 Chapter 3

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit.

My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.

Have you read this poem before? Can you see yourself in it? I can and do often. I have over the years fallen in the same hole over and over and over again. There are still areas of my life that I am stuck in Chapters 1 or 2 and I wonder if I will ever make it to Chapter 5. My journey to getting healthy was definitely one of those areas for years. It took me being so sick that I was bed rested for almost 3 months. My chronic poor health finally shook me and my eyes were opened. I’m not going to say I’ve made it to Chapter 4 on this journey yet but I have hope. More hope than I have ever had in my life in this area. I believe that it was only God who could open my eyes to this hole that I kept falling into. He has opened my eyes to my own self destruction. He has opened my eyes to how much he cares about this area of my life. He has opened my eyes to how much his love for me will sustain me as I learn for the first time in my life to find another street. Learning a new path in an area of your life that has been so engrained is not easy. It will take time, prayer, dedication, and patience with myself, and a lot of getting back out of the hole immediately when I see I’ve fallen. I am here to report that I am FILLED with hope and My Eyes Are Open!

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